funballfandomcom-20200215-history
Trix 3: The Story You Never Expected
__TOC__ Prologue It was a cold winter's day in Steckenberg. Trix hovered at the schoolyard. A cool, crisp breeze blew through the trees. Rickety swings creaked as the wind blew them gently back and forth. Trix moved about the place. Trix: Wow, the place is totally screwed. I guess nobody wanted to come back after all that Blauxolm shap. Those mothereffing alien, monster, freak things... Trix wandered around the school. She decided to go inside and check out the old rooms. Thoughts still echoed in her head... "Where is Gamelover?" She wandered into one of the science labs. She took out a familiar chemical. Trix: Now, just put this here, and... Trix spit a small ember. The concoction burst into flames. Being a small pyromaniac this brought some joy to Trix. Trix: Hehe! Burn, you little fire, burn your heart out... It was just then, though, that a small gust through the window caught the beaker. It topples onto the floor, spilling the flaming chemicals all over the floor. The fire quickly spread. Trix: CRAP!! I gotta get outta here! Trix rushed out of the school building. It was sooner than later that the building was burnt down beyond recognition. Later that evening... Revelian: Trix, how do you explain this? He points to a television. Anchor: ...Earlier this evening, the city's school building mysteriously burst into flames! The building burnt to the ground before the fire department could respond... Trix: I didn't do it! Revelian looks at her suspiciously. Revelian: I didn't ask who did it. Trix: crap... Revelian: Yep! Busted. How'd it happen? Trix: I got a little pyro again... Revelian: Well, I have anger issues, but if I couldn't restrain myself you'd all be dead by now. Trix: Umm... Revelian: Well, you know what I mean. Trix: I'll just, um... Trix slowly creeps toward the exit. Revelian: Where do you think you're going? He grabs her and pulls her back. Revelian: What you've committed here is a crime, Trix, accident or not. Your carelessness won't go unpunished. Trix: But I just- Revelian: BURNT DOWN A FUCKING SCHOOLBUILDING? Trix:... Revelian: You'll be staying with me tonight. Don't get any funny ideas. No- TV: THIS JUST IN! IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!! Anchor: Police investigators searching the scene found a sample of clothing near the source. It will be examined to find the identity of the suspect... Revelian: Hmm... hey wait a second... Trix, you don't wear clothes! Chapter 1 - CSI: Ludus Meanwhile, at the Science Division's gene center... Scientist: This cloth was most likely a cloak of some sort. Zachary: Hmm... put it in the gene scanner. Scientist: Alright, here we go now... The scientist places the cloth segment in a machine of sorts, then adjusts some switches and dials. Lasers appear and circle around the cloth. The machine makes a buzzing noise and then stops. Zachary: Results? Scientist: Well, lets see... oh... oh my god... you have to see this!!! Zachary: What is it? The scanner read: DNA: Match Detected Revelian Zeronius Zachary:... Revelian? What the hell? That doesn't make any sense! Scientist: Well, DNA doesn't lie, but the scanner does make mistakes... Zachary: I'll go talk to him about it. Stuff like this has happened before. Zach pulls out his cell phone. He scrolls down the caller-ID list. He finds a number labeled "Jast the supreme ruler of awesomeness" Zachary: Heh, he must have changed the name again. The phone rings. Jast: Yello. Zachary: Hey! Got a sec? Jast: Yeah. What is it? Zachary: Well, y'know the cloth they found at the pet school? Jast: Uhuh. Zachary: Well, we put it through the DNA analyzer and it said it belonged to Revelian. Jast: Really? SO what do you need me for? Zachary: Well, just in case he actually DID do it, (which I highly doubt he did), I might need your help... persuading him. Jast: K. Revelian's place? Zachary: Yeah. See you there. -end call- -Back at Revelian's place- Trix: Yeah? And? Revelian: Well, that means someone else was there when it happened. Do you remeber anyone else at the school? Trix: No, well... WAIT! There was someone! Trix remembers back to earlier that day. When she had been going down the hall, she saw a strange looking fellow, who was pushing around a janitor's cart. She just hadn't paid attention before. Revelian: What did his face look like? Trix: I don't know everything!! Revelian: WELL I WAS JUST TRYING. The doorbell rings. Revelian: Stay here. Revelian floats off to answer the door. Zachary and Jast are standing at the door. Zach has some papers in his hand. Revelian: You guys came for the investigation? Zachary: Yeah, where's Trix? Revelian: In here. He leads them to some rooms in the castle, down a couple stairs into a basement room. Trix is floating around in the room. They all sit down at a table. Revelian: Alright, now before we say anything, I'm just as confused as anyone else. But we've figured out something. Zachary: What's that? Revelian: According to Trix, who WAS there, there was another person there, a janitor or something. Zachary: Janitor? We shut down that school a month ago! What was Trix doing? Trix: I was just wandering around. Jast: Anything else? Revelian stares at her expectantly. Trix: Well, I kinda, umm... messed around with some flammable chemicals and they spilt. Zachary: Anyway, we kinda came here to talk to you, Revelian. Revelian: About what? Zachary: Well, we analyses the DNA on the cloth and it matched yours. Revelian: What?! I was here the whole time! Jast: We're not arresting you, just be aware that you could be suspected. Trix, do you ex- Zachary: Hey wait! Sorry, but, I just remembered something. I could have sworn we had all the lab chemicals removed from the school when it shut down. Someone must have put them there! Revelian: So we have another guy to look for? Great. Jast: So Trix, did you remember AT ALL what the janitor looked like? Trix: No, I only got a glance. Zachary: How do you think we'll find this "janitor" fellow? Jast: Well, whoever it was, it was either Revelian, or someone who stole cloth from him, and something tells me Revelian wouldn't pull this kind of bullshap. Zachary: Ugh, I guess we'll just have to see what happens, see if we can find any evidence. Revelian: Agreed. They all break up, traveling to thier repective homes, Trix staying with Revelian as promised. Chapter 2 - Blood on the Walls Revelian heads upstairs, where Umbra is in bed, sitting in front of the TV. She pauses it as Revelian walks in. Umbra: What were you doing? Revelian: Just handling some crap about the school burning. Talked to Trix, then Zachary and Jast came over and we talked. They left a few minutes ago. Umbra: Why wasn't I told about this? Mister big man trying to take care of things himself? Revelian: Hehe, no. Umbra: Well, what did you figure out? Revelian: Apparently Trix saw some janitor guy, who's not even a janitor, who put flammable chemicals in a place where they're not supposed to be and stole a part of my clothes to try and frame me. I don't even know how this guy ripped a piece of my cloak off without me noticing. Umbra: Well, whoever did do this must have done so yesterday... Revelian: Huh? Umbra points to the ground. Truly enough, there sits the cloak Revelian was wearing yesterday, with a torn corner. Umbra: I thought you had just gotten into a little fight or something. Revelian: Hmm... I never did. Umbra: Well, just be on the lookout for anyone suspicious. You never know... Revelian: Well, I think I'm actually going to try to get some sleep tonight. All this crap's been going on might be getting to my head. Umbra: Was our honeymoon not relaxing enough for you? Revelian: We didn't really get much sleep during that, now did we? Umbra: Haha, good point... Well, alright then. Goodnight, Revelian. Revelian: 'Night. Revelian pulls the lamp switch and lays down, quickly falling into a deep sleep. At about 3 A.M... Revelian wakes up to Umbra's screaming. Revelian: W-What's going on?! Umbra: LOOK!! Revelian: Huh, what's- THE FUCK? On the wall there was a large amount of blood, which had been smeared across the wall into two simple words. The blood was still fresh. "YOU'RE NEXT" Revelian: What the hell is going on here? Umbra: I-I don't know! Revelian: There's so much blood... did the guy kill himself? Umbra: There's no body in here... Revelian: W-Wait... Oh God, the baby!! Umbra leaps to her feet and makes a mad dash towards the crib. Solaria lies in it, perfectly ok. Umbra: Oh, thank God... She's alright! Revelian: Alright, this is getting out of hand... I'm calling up the others! Umbra: Okay. Revelian gets on the phone and tells several friends what happened that morning. Umbra goes downstairs to check on all of the pets. Revelian: Okay, Umbra, I'm off- Where'd she go? Probably checking on the pets. Revelian floats downstairs, following Umbra's path, suddenly... Umbra: OH MY GOD!!!! Revelian: What!? Hold on!! Revelian quickens pace and dashes down the hall to the wing Umbra went to. When Revelian arrived, a shocking sight stood before him. On the ground lay Cygnus, with a long, deep, cut going straight down her torso. Blood literally spilt all over on the floor around her. But, amazingly, she was still alive. Revelian: Damnit, damnit, damnit... SHOW YOURSELF YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! Revelian simply beats his fist against the wall angrily. He then spins towards one of the walls, spying a figure vanish behind it. He draws his sword and charges after him!! Umbra: R-Revelian! Where are you going?! Revelian: DON'T FOLLOW ME! TAKE CARE OF CYGNUS! IF SOMEONE OTHER THEN ME COMES TOWARDS YOU, PUT A BULLET IN THEIR BRAIN!! Umbra nods and runs off to find a first-aid kit, grabbing the Heavy Machine Gun as she goes. Revelian rushes down the hall. However, the figure doesn't appear to be running away. He strolls down the hallway, humming like a madman. However, right before Revelian approaches the figure, it turns around sharply, with a pistol aimed straight at Revelian's head. It's dark, but Revelian notices that the face has an odd coloration, as if wearing strange makeup, maybe like a clown of sorts. The figure shakes slightly, as if uneasy or unstable. Clown: Stop there or I'll blow your brains out here and now. Revelian: Don't make me laugh, you sick freak. Put the gun down before I slice your arm off... Clown: Nope! But I won't point it at you anymore, hehe!! The figure points the gun at his own head. Clown: Let's have a little fun shall we? Revelian: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME?! Clown: Can't tell that! No no no, not yet. We're having too much fun! Revelian: YOU WONT KNOW WHAT FUN IS IF YOU DONT COUGH UP SOME SH/T RIGHT NOW. Clown: Now, don't be too hasty! You might not get to know. Revelian notices something in his other hand. Revelian: Give me that! Clown: Ah, ah, ah! Let's not be hasty! I wouldn't be grabbing this! The figure shows that he is holding a suicide switch in his hand. Clown: Now, if we'll all just calm down, we can settle this calmly...I'll just- Suddenly, Umbra appears behind the figure and puts several rounds into his back. He falls onto the floor. He appears dead. Umbra walks towards Revelian, breathing heavily. The switch remains clasped in his hand. Umbra: Dear God... Revelian: Leave it here. Why did you leave Cygnus? Umbra: She'll be fine. I wrapped her up pretty well. I was worried about you, Revelian... You know I don't want anything to happen to you... Revelian: Yeah, but there's no time to worry. The guy's dead. We just have to figure out what that switch was for... Umbra: Alright. I'll look around to see if I can't find anything else. Umbra runs off. Revelian takes a closer look at the body. The face closely resembles that of a clown, however the makeup is smeared slightly on the face. He is wearing a brightly colored suit. There is something inside his pocket. Revelian takes out a piece of paper and unrolls it. It seems to be a sort of note. He reads it: Dear Mister Zeronius, I can see that you have killed my accomplice by this point, and found this note. You may have stopped the madness for now, but don't get comfortable. We're going to have some more fun before this is over. Yours Truly. P.S, you might want to- That's all Revelian read before: SHABBOOOM!!! There was suddenly a massive explosion. Revelian gets sent flying towards a wall and slams into it. He falls to the floor and starts losing consciousness. He can hear Umbra's footsteps rapidly approach. She suddenly pops up from around the corner and shrieks when she sees Revelian on the ground. She runs towards him. Umbra: Revelian!!? Are you okay?! As she spoke, everything started to fade away, and her voice became distant... Umbra: Revelian!! Answer me!! Re...ve...li..an....... Revelian blacked out. Chapter 3 - Rude Awakening Revelian wakes up. Staring at him is Umbra. Umbra: Revelian... You're awake!! She grabs him and gets into a hug with him, followed by a kiss. Zachary walks up behind them. Zachary: Yeesh, I told you he'd be alright, Umbra. Relax. Umbra: Sorry... Umbra backs away from Revelian as he gets to his feet. Revelian: Ergh... Where's Cygnus? Zachary: Pet hospital. You've been passed out for hours... Umbra sat by your side for every minute of it, too. Umbra: Heh... You know me... I worry about my poor man, sometimes... He just has a knack for getting into trouble. Zachary: Tch, no kidding. Revelian: Don't worry about me, Umbra, you know that- Umbra: Don't tell me not to worry about you! You know it's hard for me not to! I mean, look at the stuff you're constantly getting into! And now we have this!? When does the madness stop, Revelian?? When do we finally settle down and finally live together, happily? I'm tired of all these adventures! Here we are, first day back from our honeymoon, and we're already in another adventure!! Can't you see that we can't live like this!? If these adventures keep going like this, then sooner or later, one of us is going to kick the bucket! What would happen if you died on me? Or, for that matter, how would YOU feel if I died on you?! Do you really care about me or do you see me as some sort of... trophy wife?! She finally breaks down into tears... Revelian: Umbra... How could you say that!? You know what would happen if you died on me... I'd be utterly devastated by it! I love you, damnit! That's why I proposed to you on that day, before your sister attacked! Umbra, I know you're really tired of these... And if I had a choice. I'd stop worrying about it, too... I would give anything to be able to finally sit down and live with you in peaceful bliss, Umbra... I'm sorry... Umbra continues to cry... Umbra: I'm sorry, Revelian... I didn't mean to talk to you like that, it's just... Revelian: It's alright, I understand... Zachary: ...I think you two should sit this little thing out... Revelian: I think so, too... Is that what you want, Umbra? She nods, soon smiling. Zachary: Well, I'll leave you guys alone... From the note I found on Revelian, we might be able to get a DNA thing on this guy... Well, I'll see you two later. Revelian: Later, Zach... Zachary heads to the foyer, where Trix is waiting. Trix: Things sounded intense in there... Zachary: It was nothing... Umbra's just worrying about Revelian. Can't blame the poor girl, really... Trix: Yeah... How can someone as evil as Revelian get with someone as nice as Umbra? Zachary: That question keeps both me and Jast up at night. Trix: Aren't you with someone, too? Zachary: Y-you mean Karelia? Yeah, we're talking... Trix: ... They both leave the castle. Trix: So, who is this guy? Zachary: We don't know Trix. There's a small chance that we could get DNA off of the note, but, even then we might not know who we're looking for. Trix: It's pretty scary, this guy. I mean, you never know what's going to happen next. You're on edge just walking around town. Zachary: Agreed. You're off the hook by the way. I mean, you're not totally innocent, but, you're not a psychotic murderer, right? This case is well, strange. Trix: What would make you say that? Zachary: Well, I don't know of anyone who would want to hurt or antagonize Revelian that isn't already dead or otherwise incapable. It just doesn't make sense. Trix: ...We'll just have to find out, I guess. Zachary: Yeah. We're almost there. You want to come in, or...? Trix: It's alright. I'll wait outside. Zachary: Okay. Zach and Trix land in front of the science center. Zach walks inside the glass double doors while Trix waits at the front stairstep. As Zachary opens the main doors, there is nobody at the front desk. Zachary: Hmm... that's strange.... He continues through the hall, making his way to the forensics lab. The halls remain silent. Something is wrong. The door to the lab is wide open. Zach pushes it and walks inside... Zachary: HOLY CRAP!! What happened in here? There are a couple of scientists lying on the floor, who have been shot dead. The entire lab is a wreck, all of the machinery is broken or destroyed, and chemicals are spilt all over the floor. A note lies on the table. Zach carefully picks it up. It read: Dear Mr. Isles, Nice try, but you won't be getting to me so fast. Not this way, at least. We're going to play a little game over the next few days. I'm sure you and your friends will enjoy it. Yours Truly. Zachary: Oh, great... Zach turns and leaves, grabbing Trix. Trix: H-Hey! What happened in there?? Zachary: The scientists have been slaughtered. Trix: What?? So where are we going now?! Zachary: Remember when I said that most of Revelian's main antagonists have either been killed or made incapable? Trix: Yeah...? Zachary: I forgot two of them. We're going to the Snowfield. Trix: You mean that ice palace? Zachary: No. Poxten is too stupid to do something like this. However... This man- and woman- are both very conniving and dangerous. Trix: Who are they...? Zachary: Kuipter and Astra. Chapter 4 - Relative Irrelevance They soon finally make it to the Snowfield area. Trix: So... I know who Kuipter is, but who's Astra? Zachary: LONG STORY. Let's just leave it at she's one of our most evil villains.. Trix: Oh geez... and Kuipter's hooked up with her? Zachary: Yeah. I don't know why Revelian thought it was a good idea to let them go after all they've done... But they have been quiet... Let's see if they're staying quiet. They soon arrive at a large log cabin. Zachary walks towards the door. Zachary: Stay out here, and be careful. I don't know what might happen... Zachary pounds on the door. It soon opens, and a deep red light shines in his face. Kuipter: Zachary Isles...? What brings you here? Astra: Who is it, dear? Kuipter: It's the "hero". Astra: Hm... Kuipter turns back to Zachary. Kuipter: Well, are you and your friend going to come in, or am I going to lock you out and freeze you to death? Zachary: Come on, Trix... She nervously floats inside of the door. Zachary walks in and the door slams shut behind him. Zachary walks over to a large seat and sits down. He sees Astra, sitting across the room in a rocking chair. She has a noticable bulge on her belly. Trix: Is she pregnant...? Zachary: Seems like it... shh. Astra: Why, yes, I am pregnant, thanks for asking... Zachary sweats nervously. Kuipter walks inside and sits next to Astra. Kuipter: Well, then, what do you want? Zachary: There's been a string of recent terrorist activities... Kuipter: And naturally, we're the first two people on your shit list... Zachary: Well, you two HAVE done some pretty awful things... Kuipter: Yes, but ask yourself, Isles, why would I endanger myself when my wife-to-be is carrying a child? Zachary: Because we knew that clearly before walking in here. Kuipter: Watch your mouth... Astra: Kuipter, dear, they're guests. You're just being a bad host. Kuipter: Feh... Zachary: So... you guys live out here now? Kuipter: Yes. Astra wanted a nice, big log cabin here, so she had me make one. Now I sit here and freeze every night... Well, at least she makes things a bit warmer at night... Astra: Heheh... Zachary: W-well, sorry for bothering you. Kuipter: So, what sort of "terrorist activities" are going on? Zachary: Well, there was a fire, and then Revelian's castle was attacked... Kuipter: Was either him or his stupid wife killed? Zachary: No. Kuipter and Astra both frown. Zachary: His servant was put in a coma, though. We came here because, quite frankly, we have no other leads. And hey, you two jackasses should be thankful. If it wasn't for Revelian and Umbra, both of you would be dead by now. They both scowl. Kuipter: Whatever... Neither me nor Astra know anything, so don't let the door hit you. Zachary: Tch. Don't see why Revelian is being so charitable to his piece-of-shit brother... I feel bad for your child. Kuipter immediately stands up and points an arm cannon at Zach! Kuipter: You listen here, you incompetent twat... Do you really think I'm just going to fucking sit here and let you run your fat fucking mouth about me, my wife-to-be, and our damned child?! Get the fuck out of our house before I blast you out of it!! Astra: Kuipter, please. Relax. Zach stands up. Zachary: Come on, Trix. Trix happily complies. They both leave the house. Zachary: Well that was pointless... Damnit... What now?? Trix: I dunno... That got pretty scary, though... Meanwhile, back in the house... Kuipter angrily sits down back in his chair next to Astra. She slides up next to him... Astra: Haha... You think you're tough standing up to the king like that... Kuipter: I just don't want the bastard running his mouth about us... Astra: That's no reason to get yourself killed, though. Kuipter: Yeah, whatever... Astra suddenly leans over to him and gives a kiss. Astra: I personally appreciate it, though. Kuipter: At least someone does... They both cuddle up next to each other and fall asleep. Chapter 5 - Getting Down to Business Zachary and Trix return home, and surprisingly, a normal night passes as they prepare to make way for Revelian's in the morning and figure things out. Revelian and Umbra settle things down at home, getting some help in fixing the castle and locking things down extra tight. Umbra is still a bit peeved about things. Later that morning, Zachary and Trix are about to leave, however, as Zachary opens the front door, there lies yet another note. Zachary: Oh, great... what this time? Dear Mr. Xerano, I have decided to arrange a meeting with you and your friends, however you must obey my conditions. Meet at the railroad crossing in the west at 2:00 p.m. sharp. Send one of your friends out onto the railway as a signal of trust. They MUST NOT MOVE once they are on the tracks. Understood? Have a nice day. May we meet soon. Yours Truly. Zachary: Yes!! Maybe we'll be able to figure out who this is!! The conditions are a bit weird, but it's not important right now. Lets go!! Trix: Okay. Zachary notifies Jast, and he and Trix head off to Revelian's castle. Jast: I'll knock. Jast knocks on the door because NO WE ARE NOT DOING THIS. Revelian soon answers. Revelian: Jast? Zachary? What are you two doing here?? Zachary: We're gonna get the criminal! Revelian: Oh, really? And how?? Zachary: Read the note. Revelian reads the note. And proceeds to facepalm. Revelian: YES, Zachary, GO AND STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAILROAD TRACKS SO YOU CAN GET THE FUCK RAN OVER!! GOOD GOD. Zachary: ...oh... Revelian: Ok, look. I'll do this. If a train hits me, that train's gonna fucking stop. Umbra overhears them. Umbra: WHAT?! Revelian: Umbra, RELAX. I'm going to help Zachary with ONE THING. I'll be just fine, ok?? Umbra: Getting hit by a train?!? Revelian, what are you thinking?! Zachary: He's been hit by worse. Jast: Yup. Umbra: ...If ANYTHING happens to Revelian, it's on YOUR heads!! Got it?! Zachary: YES MA'AM. LET'S GO, REVELIAN. Revelian runs off with the others towards the railroad tracks. They arrive at the site. The area is eerily empty and dead silent. One side of the tracks can be seen going off into the distance, the other runs into an abandoned station. Revelian: Ghost town much? Does anyone use this? Zachary: Not many that I know of... Only a couple trains run through this point. Revelian: Well, it's 1:59. Here goes stupid nothing! He floats over to the tracks and simply stands there. Nothing appears to happen. Revelian: ... Two minutes pass. Revelian: Fuck this. I'm going home. It was just then a noise could be heard from a distance. It was the sound of a train approaching. It slowly grew louder. Jast: Be careful, Revelian! Don't get us all killed by Umbra!! Revelian: THANKS!! Better get ready... Revelian faced the open rails and braced himself for impact. The sound grew louder and louder, whistles rung through the air. Zachary: Damnit, this is gonna end badly... I just know it... The train continues to get closer. Zachary: Hey, these sounds seem a little close, why can't we see the train yet? Hmm... OH NO. Zachary runs toward the tracks, waving his arms around. Zachary: REVELIAN!!!! REVELIAN!!! Revelian: HOLD ON, I'M BUSY!! Zachary: NO!!! REVELIAN, TURN AROUND!!! Revelian: WHAT?! Zachary: TURN AROUND!!! NOW!!! Revelian could barely get his head around to his left side before he was smashed from behind by a train. The train had come the other way. Revelian hadn't turned around in time and wasn't ready for impact. Revelian: GOD DAM- A shattering "SMACK" could be heard as Revelian's body crashed against the front of the train. Jast: That's gotta hurt... The train flies off of the tracks due to the sudden weight gain and falls down a large ditch. Revelian staggers out of the wreckage, disoriented. In a blur, a hand reached out and grabs Revelian from the front of the train and drags him into the engineer's area. Revelian: WHO THE... HELL ARE- -CLANG!!- Revelian gets bashed over the head with a shovel, and is soon repeatedly jabbed in the face by it. -Back at the crossing- Jast: OHGOGOHGOGHOGOGOHGOGWHY Zachary: ...Oh shiiiiiiieeeeeetttt... WE'RE SCREWED!! Trix: Hey wait! There's something on the tracks! She hovers over and picks up the object, what seems another note. Trix: Look!! Jast was too busy freaking out to pay attention. Zachary looks over. Dear friends of Revelian, Thank you for complying to my requirements. I thank you dearly. Now, that fun we were going to have, well here it is. Hurry now. Time's a wasting! Now that you know who I am, oh wait, that won't help at all! Good luck! Sincerely, The King of Trolls Zachary: Who is- OH GOD NO... Jast: OH F/CK ME. LORD TROLLUS?!? HE'S THE ONE BEHIND THIS!? AND IF HE'S THE ONE, THEN... OH GOD, REVELIAN!! They all run to the train... but Revelian is missing. There's a large amount of maroon blood, though. Jast: Oh my God. We're f/cking dead. WE ARE TOTALLY F/CKING DEAD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT UMBRA'S GOING TO F/CKING DO TO US?!? Zachary: J-JUST SHUT UP, MAN!! I'M THINKING!! He turns around, shaking violently. He finally comes to a conclusion. Zachary: We've gotta tell her. Jast: WHAT?!?! ARE YOU F/CKING MAD!?!? Zachary: MAYBE I AM. But if we at least tell her, she might consider mercy!! IT'S OUR ONLY SHOT. Jast: DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THAT YOU TOLD HER EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED?! Zachary: ...WELL... FUCK. IT'S MY ONLY IDEA. Jast: We're going to die, aren't we? Zachary: Probably... They all run away from the wreckage towards Revelian's castle. Zachary nervously walks towards the door. Zachary: *Gulp.* Here we go. Zachary knocks on the door, and Umbra answers it. Umbra: Hey, guys!! ...Where's Revelian? Zachary: ...Well, you see... There was a... miscalculation, and... eheh... Revelian got kidnapped, as well as severely beaten... Umbra doesn't look the least bit amused. She pulls out the PK30 Machine Gun and guns down Zachary, Jast, and Trix where they stand. Jast: ZACH!! HEY! SNAP OUT OF IT!! Zachary snaps out of his daydream. He stand in front of the door, having not actually knocked. Zachary: ...This is a bad idea. Jast: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST GUESS?! Zachary: Yeah. RUN. All three of them run away from the castle. Umbra, however, spots them. Umbra: WAIT A MINUTE!! Zachary: Oh. Crap. Jast: SHH. Let's try to lie our way out of it... Umbra: Why are you guys running?? What happened?! Zachary: Err, hi, Umbra! W-We were just in a hurry!! Umbra: Where's Revelian?! Jast: W-well, you see... He... Err... went on a trip!! Y-Yeah, see, he went on a trip to... hunt for the villain!! Umbra: Bullshit. He would have told me if he was. Zachary: ... Umbra: I'm not a fucking idiot. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. NOW. Jast: We're gonna get shot, aren't we? Umbra: If you don't answer me... then YES. Trix: Damnit, guys!! Just tell her what happened!! Zachary: OK OK OK!! Umbra... Revelian got kidnapped. Jast: BUT, we know who's behind this now!! A look of pure rage was on Umbra's face. Zachary: Oh crap. Umbra reaches behind her. All 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Umbra: WHAT?! I'M NOT PULLING A GUN!! I'M GETTING MY MAKE-UP! I've been asleep all day. She pulls out, from behind her, a small make-up kit. She starts to apply eye-liner. Zachary: Phew... She puts the eye-liner and the make-up away. Umbra: NOW, THEN... All 3: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Umbra: SHUT UP!! I'M NOT GOING TO SHOOT YOU... YET!! All 3: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umbra pulls out the PK30 and starts firing shots into the air, making them all shut up. Umbra: LISTEN. TO. ME. She leans in close to Zachary's face. Umbra: If you don't get my husband back to me within the next few days... Do you want to know what I'm going to do to ALL 3 OF YOU?? Zachary: *GULP.* Umbra: Didn't think so. Oh, and suck on this, too. This is the LAST adventure that my husband goes on!! Zachary: WHAT?! Umbra: SILENCE!!! Zachary shuts the fuck up. Umbra: FIND MY HUSBAND, OR I'LL MAKE SURE ALL 3 OF YOU SUFFER THE LONGEST, MOST PAINFUL DEATHS IMAGINABLE!! She slams the door shut. Zachary: She's acting like her sister... BUT AT LEAST WE LIVE. LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. They all run the fuck away. Chapter 6 - Finding Nemo Revelian After running for a while, they decide to stop running crazily and come up with a plan. Zachary: Alright, seriously guys... We gotta find Revelian. Jast: Lets see, Lord Trollus... Why? Trix: Hmm... oh wait! Didn't Revelian, like, destroy his kingdom or something? Zachary: Oh yeah! No wonder he took Revelian. He's probably going to do something horrible to him if we don't stop him. Jast: Then we'll all die, either by a massive war led by trolls... Or a very, VERY angry widow. Zachary: We should get help, you know, just in case this guy isn't a total pushover. coughpoxtencough Zach calls some friends, including Sauphara, Lazro, and Samuel17, who arrive upon hearing what happened. Sauphara: You require our assistance? Jast: We might. Revelian was captured by Lord Trollus and we have to save him or Umbra will kill us! Lazro: Well that sounds bad... I suggest we find him, but where the heck does Trollus live, anyway? Revelian kinda blew up Trolland. Zachary: We'll just have to follow the direction of the train and look for clues. The problem is, we have no way to move across the tracks that quickly. Samuel: What about one one of the pets? One of them is a train, right? They can probably ride the tracks. Zachary: Great idea! They summon Jubie by some means or another. Jubie appears at the tracks. Jubie: How am I supposed to carry all of you? I'm just a small train! Lazro: He has a point. Jast: Sauphara? Sauphara: I do not possess growth spells. We need someone with specialized magic abilities. Samuel: Who would that be? Zachary: Lets see...Umbra hates us at the moment... hrm...Oh, I know! Crone's also pretty good with magic! Jast: GEEZ HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WE TAKING?! Zachary contacts Crone by means of phone. She arrives shortly, but with company- Karelia. Karelia: Where have you been, Zachary? You missed our date last night. Zachary: oh damnit I forgot. Jast: THE AMOUNT OF PARTY MEMBERS IS TOO DAMb HIGH. Karelia: It's okay! At least I get to see you now! Sauphara: She's quite positive, no? Jast: Oh God you haven't seen the half of it. Zachary: Thank goodness... So, Crone, do you think you can do it? Crone pulls out a spell book and flips through the pages. She soon finds one specific spell and points to it. Crone: Well, if I can perform this spell, I should be able to grow Jubie so he can carry our weight... But, I've never done it before. Karelia: Well, you've gotta try, at least! Jubie: For my sake please... Crone: Alright... Crone's horn begins to glow. Jubie also glows a similar hue. Jubie: It tickles! Suddenly, Jubie begins to slowly increase in size, growing to the point of being the size of a real train. Crone stops the spell. Crone: Wow, it actually worked! Jubie: Hooray!! Zachary: Let's go!! No time to waste! Everyone hops on Jubie. Jubie accelerates down the track as the search for Revelian and Lord Trollus begins... They soon arrive at the Train Station. Jubie stops, and everyone gets out to look around. Karelia: Oooh, this place looks creepy! Fun!! Zachary: Yeah. This place is, more or less so abandoned... Jast: Hey, look over there! Jast points to what looks like several masked figures guarding a crudely made open tunnel. Zachary: Hmm... You think Trollus came from there?? Jast: Probably. I've never seen that tunnel before. Crone: Well, let's take them out. Jast: I've never seen you Equestrians fight before. Let's see if you can live up past your expectations. Crone sneers. Crone: Alright, then! She and Karelia walk towards the guards. Guard 1: Hey!! This place is off limits, especially to freaks like you! Guard 2: Yeah, go back to space where you belong! Jast: Yeah, they're trolls alright. Crone: Why don't you make us... bitch? Zachary giggles at the last word. Crone's clearly acting. Guard 1: Haha, you mad! Let's take these noobs out. The trolls attack! Battle: 2 Troll Soldiers Crone casts a powerful beam-spell! Troll Soldier 1 took 6059 damage! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! Troll Soldier 2 took 2019 damage! Troll Soldier 1 took 4560 damage! Troll Soldier 1 fell over and died! Troll Soldier 2 shouted out TROLOLOLOLOLO! Crone was enraged! Crone attacks! Karelia took 1023 damage! Karelia attacks! Crone took 1403 damage! Crone snapped out of the enraged state! Troll Soldier 2 fired a magnet-gun! Karelia's Bolt Gun flew towards Troll Soldier 2! Troll Soldier 2 equipped the Bolt Gun! Karelia: OH COME ON! Crone launches a magic bomb! Troll Soldier 2 took 7069 damage! Troll Soldier 2 fell over and died! YOU WIN!! Karelia walks over towards the second Troll Soldier and picks up the Bolt Gun. She then shoots the troll in the face for good measure. Karelia: Jerks. Let's go. Crone and Karelia return to Jubie. The others clap. Trix: Woot! Jast: Ok, not bad. You're not utterly worthless in combat after all! Crone shoots a magic blast at Jast and sends him flying. Jast: I DESERVED THAT. They all get on Jubie and head through the tunnel... Chapter 7 - The Underground Jubie rides through the tunnel swiftly. The tunnel gradually grows darker and darker as the entrance grows far away. Soon, the tunnel is pitch black. Crone casts a light spell that gives a bright glow. Masked faces zoom by Jubie as they move own the tunnel. Sauphara: We're not alone... Suddenly, Jubie shakes violently as his wheels hit a ruptured piece of track. He is knocked off course and rams into the side of the tunnel, coming to a screeching halt. Voices: Trolololololo... U mad? Jubie: Oww.... Zachary: He's not going to get us any further. Stupid trolls... Crone: I'll get him back to normal. She shrinks him back to normal size, and Sauphara warps him back to Revelian's castle. LZ: It seems as though we're going to have to go by foot. Suddenly, 5 Troll Soldiers jump out and surround the gang! They attack!! Battle: 5 Troll Soldiers Zachary slices with his sword! TS1 took 2021 damage!! Jast attacks with TRANCE! TS1 took 7112 damage!! TS1 fell over and died! Lazro launches a fire-ball out of the Dual Sauphara Katanas! TS2 took 1005 damage and was burned!! Sauphara tried PSI Fire! TS2 took 1302 damage! TS3 took 1023 damage! TS3 was burned! TS4 took 1590 damage! TS4 was burned! TS5 took 1302 damage! TS5 was burned! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! TS3 took 2019 damage! TS4 took 4904 damage! TS2 took 4590 damage! Crone launches a blast of powerful magic! TS4 took 6059 damage! TS4 fell over and died! TS2 activated aura of the troll!! Zachary's team speed decreased! Troll team speed increased! TS2 took 500 burn damage! TS3 fired a magnet gun! Karelia's bolt gun was stolen! Karelia: Of course... TS5 shouted "TROLOLOLO!!" Jast was enraged!! Zachary slices with his sword! TS2 took 3940 damage! TS2 fell over and died! Jast attacks!! Zachary took 2587 damage!! Trix shot a fireball!! TS3 took 760 damage!! TS5 uttered a strange chant! Crone was telekinetically forced to make TS5 a sandwich!! TS5 ate the sandwich and was healed to full health! Samuel attacks!! TS3 took 2012 damage!! Karelia attacks!! TS3 took 1446 damage!! TS3 fell over and died!! Sauphara attacks!! TS5 took 3456 damage!! TS5 taped a piece of buttered toast to a cat!! Zachary was stunned! Jast was stunned! Samuel was stunned! It doesn't affect Lazro... It doesn't affect Sauphara... It doesn't affect Karelia... Crone was stunned! Lazro slashed with the dual flame katanas!! TS5 took 2828 damage!! Karelia picks up the bolt gun and fires!! TS5 took 3336 damage!! TS5 fell over and died!! YOU WIN!!! Zachary: Man, those guys are weird... I know dark matters and gridmasks aren't affected by Troll physics, but, why didn't it affect Karelia? Karelia: Meh, who needs physics? I'm Karelia! Zachary: Oh, right... Jast: Let's just move on. We must be getting close to something important... They continue to move down the tunnel. A small light appears at the end. Crone: There's the way out!! Let's go! They move quickly towards the tunnel. They make it to the end. As they come out the other side, a strange sight stands before them. Chapter 8 - New Trolland Crone: Woah... Where are we?? Zachary: Some subterranean city... They spot a sign nearby. On it is a picture of a troll-face along with text. "WELCOME TO NEW TROLLAND! DEATH TO REVELIAN!" Zachary: Oh crap. Karelia: Come on! We've gotta hurry! They run across the train tracks, soon making it to a station. Zachary, however, stops them before they go in. Zachary: Crap... We stick out like sore thumbs here. Crone, got any spells to disguise us? Crone: Give me a sec... She flips through her spell book feverishly. Crone: Got one! Her horn glows, and suddenly, they all become White Troll Stickmen. Zachary: Alright, let's go! They walk inside of the train station. Inside, there are numerous trolls, all somehow being, well, trolls. The gang walk about trying to see if there is any way to get to Revelian. They hear some troll shouting. Troll: ALL ABOARD THE TROLLER 2 EXPRESS!! STRAIGHT WAY TO LORD TROLLUS'S PALACE!! ALL ABOARD!! ALSO, THE GAME!! trolololo... Jast: Now's our chance, let's get on that train! Zachary: Alright, guys, act... trollish. They all move onto the train as it is about to depart. Lazro taps one of the Trolls on the shoulder. Lazro: Hey b/tch, make me a sandwich!! Troll: Okay!! The troll punches Lazro in the face. Lazro: Ow!! Troll: Hope you enjoyed the KNUCKLE SANDWICH!!! Lazro: How about a death sandwich? Lazro borrows Karelia's gun and shoots the troll and kills him. Surprisingly, the surrounding trolls simply burst out lauging. Zachary: We're surrounded by idiots... Jast: Who cares, we're almost there. Intercom: Welcome, fellow idiots! You have now arrived at Trollus palace! Enjoy!! hehe... The doors open. Everyone steps out of the train, however, they're not at a palace, they're at city hall. Trix: Wha-? Zachary: Should've figured, trolls, giving us wrong trains. How trolling of them. Let's just go inside and figure some crap out. They approach the entrance. A couple of soldiers stand at the entrance. They wear heavier armor and have scanners of some kind. Guard: Hey, hold on a second, there... Guard: We have to make sure you're trolls. Jast: sh/t... They scan everyone. Guard: Well, it looks like you're a-ok! Go ahead? Zachary: Daf- Er.. I mean, thanks! They walk into the double doors, however, as soon as they go in, they walk into a circle of trolls, that have them surrounded. Zachary: Of course... Troll: U mad? Karelia: No!! Zachary: Karelia, don't-! Troll: How about now? He grabs Karelia and starts poking her all over the place. Karelia: Hehe! That tickles!! The troll then whacks her with the magnet gun. She goes sprawling towards the ground. Zachary: HEY!! Karelia: Hey! That's not very nice! Troll: I know!! Isn't it great! Take 'em to Trollus. He'll take care of 'em. The trolls push them all into another train, which actually ''leads to Trollus'. The guards then take them all downstairs. Crone: You don't think this is a dungeon, is it? Zachary: Probably... Guard: Oh, you'll like it! Jast: What does that mean? One of the guards tosses them into a room and shuts the door behind, but, it doesn't have bars or a stone floor... Karelia: Wee!!! Zachary: Huh? The room is a giant spongey bounce-house like area. Karelia bounces around like crazy in the room, thoruoghly enjoying herself. Lazro: Heh. This ain't bad at all! Sauphara: But we still have to find Revelian... Zachary: How do we get out of here? There's nothing to break! Sauphara: Can't most of us fly?? Zachary: ...*Facepalm*. Sauphara grabs Crone, Samuel, and Lazro with magic. Zachary grabs Karelia, and Jast and Trix fly themselves. They all fly up towards the top! At the entrance to the cell... ATS1: Gee, it sure is boring around here. ATS2: Yup. The gang smashes through the door, sending the two guards flying. ATS3: HEY! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!! Battle: 3 Advanced Troll Soldiers! ATS1 took 2939 damage! ATS2 took 2490 damage! Zachary tried PSI Freeze! ATS1 took 1295 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! ATS2 took 5093 damage! Lazro charges in with the dual Sauphara Katanas! ATS2 took 940 damage! Samuel charges up a mega slash! Sauphara tried PSI Freeze! ATS1 took 3940 damage! Crone launches a bolt of magic! ATS2 took 2394 damage! ATS2 fell over and died! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! ATS1 took 1302 damage! ATS1 leaps forward! Crone takes 5040 damage! ATS3 shouts TROLOLOLOLO! Zachary was enraged! Zachary attacks! Karelia takes 4039 damage! Jast attacks! Zachary takes 940 damage! Zachary went back to normal! Lazro used the HAIRPIN! Troll physics prevent randomness! Lazro: Ah, crap. Samuel unleashes a mega slash!! ATS1 took 4903 damage! ATS1 fell over and died! Sauphara tried PSI Thunder! It missed! Crone uses an ice spell! ATS3 took 3102 damage! ATS3 was frozen! Karelia replaces the Bolt Gun with the Stake Gun! Karelia fires the Stake Gun! CRITICAL HIT! ATS3 took 9201 damage! ATS3 was shattered! YOU WIN!! After beating the soldiers, the gang plows through the rest of the palace, killing any remaining guards that stand in the way. They arrive at the top, where two double doors stand in front of them. Zachary kicks the doors open as they all charge into the room. Lord Trollus himself sits at the far edge of the throne room. Trollus: It seems as though you've arrived... Chapter 9 - King of the Trolls Trollus: What brings you all here? I feel quite intruded! Zachary: What have you done with Revelian?! We know you kidnapped him! Trollus: Your point? Jast: We came to get him back! We know you're angry at him, but he's our friend, and we'll get him back whether you like it or not! Sauphara: What have you done with him? Trollus: Well, ''I ''sent Jinoho the clown to mess with Trix in an attempt to frame him for the fire, which failed, so then I hit him with a train and whacked him with a shovel, then threw him in a cell, but... Crone: What do you mean "I"? Trollus: It's not a matter to be discussing right now. At the moment, I must be rid of you all. Go make me a sandwich, bitch. Karelia: Hey!! Stop it you big meanie! Where is Revelian? Trollus: I don't know!! Quit asking! Zachary: Cut it out you maniac! Trollus: NO U!! LOLOLOLO Jast: Can we just kill him already? Trollus: As you wish! Lord Trollus calls up some guards that were stading in an adjacent area. Trollus calls for a charge! Boss Battle: Lord Trollus + 2 Advanced Troll Soldiers + General Trollface!!! Trollus: JK LOL!! GENERAL TROLLFACE!! Suddenly, a camo-colored Troll Stickman appears. Trollus: Kill these noobs. And when you're done, send me pictures of the dead ones so I can post them and piss everyone off! TROLOLOLOLOLO! GT: Roger that, Lord Trollus! TROLOLO! Lord Trollus then smashes through a window. The gang looks out to see that he landed... On the Grey Fairy Warship. It smashes out of the ground and flies away! Zachary: Damnit! He got away!! I bet Revelian is on that ship! GT: Why, yes, he is! But it doesn't matter! 'Cause you noobs are gonna die here!! Zachary tried PSI Freeze! General Trollface takes 905 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! ATS1 took 4302 damage! Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas! ATS1 took 1201 damage! Samuel activates the Speed Amplifier! The team can attack twice for 3 turns! Sauphara tried PSI Thunder! ATS1 took 2102 damage! ATS2 took 2403 damage! ATS1 took 2439 damage! Crone launches a blast of magical energy! ATS1 took 2394 damage! ATS1 fell over and died! Karelia swaps out the Stake gun for the Bolt Gun! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! General Trollface took 3201 damage! Zachary: ENOUGH PUSSYFOOTING AROUND!! Zachary tried PSI STARSTORM!! ATS2 took 4932 damage! General Trollface took 2919 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! SMAAAASH!!! ATS2 takes 14039 damage!! ATS2 was gibbed! Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas! General Trollface takes 803 damage! Samuel charges up a mega slash! Sauphara tries PSI Thunder! It didn't hit anything! Crone launches a blast of magic energy! General Trollface takes 1392 damage! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! General Trollface takes 3291 damage!! General Trollface does a dance! Two Advanced Troll Soldiers appear! Zachary: Oh God damnit! Just focus your attacks on General Trollface! ATS1 shouts out TROLOLOLOLO!!! Zachary was enraged!! ATS2 taped a piece of buttered toast onto a cat!! Zachary was stunned! Jast was stunned! It doesn't affect Lazro... Samuel was stunned! It doesn't affect Sauphara... Crone was stunned! It doesn't affect Karelia... Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas!! General Trollface took 930 damage! Sauphara tries PSI Thunder! General Trollface took 2930 damage! General Trollface took 3902 damage! General Trollface took 3291 damage! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! General Trollface took 3940 damage! ATS1 fell over and died! ATS2 fell over and died! General Trollface backed up!! YOU WIN!! General Trollface: Damnit... I failed... He fell over and died. Zachary: We did it! But now what...?? Trollus got away with Revelian! Jast: No idea... We've gotta go after him, though... Zachary: But how?? Chapter 10 - Airship Battle Trollus walks around inside of the GFWS, humming the Trololo song. He opens up a cell. Inside is Revelian, who's trapped in an energy barrier conjured up by 3 spirits. Trollus: Din! Nayru! Farore! Are you keeping him in check? Din: Yes your majesty... Nayru: We are keeping his power... Farore: In check... Trollus: Good girls! Act like the dogs you are and obey. He leaves, laughing. Revelian: What the hell are you all obeying him for? Din: He... Nayru: Is our... Farore: Master. Revelian: Why is he your master? Din: ...We... don't know... Our original master... was killed... Nayru: According to Trollus... it was you... Farore: So... we serve him in order to get revenge... on you... for our suffering... Revelian: That's a pretty sad existence. Din: We don't... Nayru: want your... Farore: Sympathy... Revelian: ... Meanwhile... The gang flies up towards the airship. Trix: WHY AM I GOING WITH YOU GUYS AGAIN!? I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING AND I'M NOT IN ANY BATTLE SCENES!! Zachary: I DON'T KNOW. YOU WERE HARDLY IN TRIX 2! AT LEAST YOU'RE ALIVE IN THIS ONE. Trix: TRUE. They soon smash inside one of the doors. Zachary: Ok, let's find Revelian! So they all head off, killing some soldiers on their way. They soon arrive at Revelian's holding cell! Karelia: I'll look inside. She presses her face against the glass. She starts to wave. Karelia: HI, REVELIAN!! Zachary: SHH!!! Revelian: wut... Din: Intruders... Nayru: We shall... Farore: Eliminate them... The gang bursts inside. Zachary: Caagr's pets...?? Revelian: HEY GUYS. KILL THESE THINGS AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Jast: ON IT. Trix: ...I GUESS I'LL STAY OUT OF IT. Boss: Din, Nayru, and Farore Zachary tried PSI STARSTORM!! Din takes 4903 damage! Nayru takes 4910 damage! Farore takes 4739 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! Din takes 9039 damage! Din fell over! Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas! Nayru takes 2910 damage! Samuel attacks with a flaming slash! Nayru takes 3902 damage! Nayru fell over! Sauphara tried PSI Freeze! Farore takes 5904 damage! Farore fell over!! All 3 of them melted into shadows! YOU WIN!! The forcefield shatters, freeing Revelian. However, this triggers an alarm. Revelian: Lets get the hell out of here. We don't have time for guards, lets just go outside and around. Zachary: Alright then! The team makes way out of the battleship via nearby window. They fly along the edge of the ship, using the same carrying configuration as previously. However, as they make way about halfway along, they begin to be bombarded by shoop-da-whoop cannons. Revelian: Damnit! Dodge 'em! I'll take them out! Although much more difficult with passengers, our flying allies manage to dodge the slow-firing laser cannons as Revelian moves around and takes them out one by one. Zachary: Phew! For a second there, I thought we were toast... Suddenly, some Troll soldiers appear out the windows and begin firing at the gang! Lazro: Seriously? Karelia begins to shoot back at the Soldiers, taking out a couple, however, one of them maganges to pound a couple rounds into Zachary's left wing, rendering it useless. Zachary begins to descend at a dangerous rate, along with Karelia, who he was carrying. Karelia: Z-Zoshi!! Zachary: Revelian, save Karelia!! Revelian rushes down to catch Karelia, whom he gives to Sauphara to hold while he attempts to reach Zachary. Revelian launches himself downwards toward the ground in an effort to catch up to a descending Zachary. However, he overshoots and flies straight past Zachary. Revelian: Oops, damnit! He corrects himself and floats back up, grabbing Zachary in the process, however, strangely, Zachary's wing seems untouched. Revelian: How did you do that? Zachary: What? Oh.. right. It was some... um... magic Troll healing spray I found on the ship. I'll be fine. Revelian: Alright, the rest of the guys are waiting. Let's go. The two meet up with the others. They all move to the front deck, where Lord Trollus is standing at the control panel, humming "Never Gonna Give You Up." Zachary: Sup, green banana? Revelian: ? Trollus turns around. Trollus: Well, whataver that was... I can see you've escaped. That's no good now is it? Revelian: Not for you at least. You prepared to get some? Trollus: Of course, but I have a surprise for you all! Enjoy! Trollus throws down a smoke bomb, causing a commotion. After the smoke clears, Trollus is gone, however something is not right. Revelian clears his visor to see himself right in front of him. Revelian?: Who are you, motherfucker? Revelian??: The hell? Revelian?: Let me take care of this twat. Revelian??: Who you callin' a twat? Jast: WHO THE HELC IS REVELIAN?? Lazro: TAKE THAT ONE!! (REVELIAN??) Jast: WHATEVER. LETS TAKE CARE OF THE OTHER ONE. Boss: Revelian? The gang look expectantly at Zachary, who usually attacks first, however, there is no Zachary. Karelia: Where'd Zoshi go? Lazro: I don't know. Let's take care of this joker first! Revelian?? charges forward! Revelian? takes 8002 damage!! Jast fires an aura bolt! Revelian? takes 3920 damage! Revelian? was knocked down! Second attack! Jast fires an aura bolt! Revelian? takes 4902 damage!! Revelian? leaps to his feet! Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas! Revelian? takes 1293 damage! Lazro: THIS IS THE FAKE, ALRIGHT! IF IT WASN'T, THIS WOULD HAVE DONE, LIKE, 0 DAMAGE!! Revelian?: ... Fine, you got me. I'm fake! Hehehe... It's a shame I couldn't copy Revelian's power level... over 9001... I don't understand, though... I thought he was, like, beloved in your land or something! Jast: *Snort* Revelian: Beloved?? What does that have to do with... Oh no. Revelian?: Remember me, Revelian? Back during your honeymoon...? I admit... Our one night was fun... Jast: ... Revelian? Who the hell is this? Revelian: Urgh... I met her during our honeymoon. Jast: "Her"?? Revelian: She's a shape-shifter. Trollus must have recruited her... Jast: BUT WHO THE F/CK IS SHE?!? The fake Revelian begins to change shape. In a flash of aqua, the fake Revelian is gone. Standing in his place is a Gridmask-like girl, of average height. She had short, curly, cerulean hair, with small orbs in them. She also had two large, black, insect-like horns on her head. As well, she had large, blue, insect-like wings. Her eyes were a kaleidoscope of color. She also had very sharp teeth. She was wearing a revealing black and green outfit. Lazro: Woah... What the helc?! Revelian huffed. Revelian: Meet the fairy/demon half-blood, Merynis. A shape-shifter. Jast: Shape-shifter...? Weird... Merynis: Not just any 'shape-shifter'... Revelian, I thought you had more respect than that! You should know I'm more special than any common illusionist... Lazro: But why do you care that Revelian was "beloved"? *Snort* Revelian: She had some special ability, like some sort of parasite. They feed on positive emotion. Samuel: She's flat-out creepy looking... Sauphara: But what did she mean by her "one night"? Revelian: Hmph. Why don't you take a wild fucking guess? Jast: ... OH GOG, YOU'RE KIDDING. Revelian: Unfortunately I'm not... The bitch shape-shifted into Umbra while she was gone and snuck into my hotel room. Tricked me and got me into bed with her... Lazro: So she's like a succubus? Revelian: I guess that's one way of putting it. Merynis: Hey, you knnow, I'm still standing right here! Revelian: OH WAIT WE WERE FIGHTING, RIGHT?? OK THEN LET'S GET BACK TO THAT. Boss: Queen Merynis (Battle theme) Revelian: Wait, I just realized... WHERE'S Zachary?? Merynis: Oh, right, I thought you'd completely forgotten about him. When Trollus threw that smoke bomb, he grabbed Zachary in all the confusion. Karelia: W-What?! Revelian: OH CRAP. Let's just kill this bitch and move on!! Revelian charges forward! Merynis takes 2,930 damage! Jast fires an aura bolt! Merynis takes 1403 damage! Lazro charges in with the Dual Zeronius Katanas! Merynis dodges the attack! Counter! Merynis performs a low-kick, knocking Lazro's feet out underneath of him! She then stomps on his face!! Lazro takes 3902 damage!! Lazro was knocked down! Second attack! Merynis' body begins to shake! She gets enveloped in a green light! When it dissipates, Zachary is standing there! Jast: WOAH!! She can transform into us?! Revelian: Yes, and she can use our abilities when transformed... Well, to an extent. Merynis used PSI STARSTORM!! Lazro: OH SHIT!! Revelian takes 9010 damage! Jast takes 14021 damage!! Lazro takes 19032 damage! Lazro got hurt and collapsed... Samuel dodges the attack!! Sauphara takes 8310 damage! Crone takes 19782 damage!!! Crone got hurt and collapsed... Karelia avoids the attack! Jast: TO AN EXTENT!? SHE FLAT OUT USED PSI STARSTORM ON US. Revelian: ... Yeeah... This is bad. Merynis' transformation dissipated. Samuel charges up a mega slash! Sauphara tries PSI Freeze! Merynis didn't take any damage! Karelia fires the bolt gun! Merynis takes 3940 damage!! Merynis' body begins to shake! She gets enveloped in a green light! When it dissipates, Crone is standing there! Merynis launches a magical bomb! Sauphara takes 7492 damage! Merynis' transformation dissipated. Revelian charges forward! Merynis takes 3584 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! Merynis takes 3892 damage! Samuel unleashes a mega slash! Merynis takes 2748 damage! Sauphara launches bloody tears! The gang recovers 8000 HP! Karelia fires the Bolt Gun! Merynis takes 3284 damage! Merynis' body begins to shake! She gets enveloped in a green light! When it dissipates, Samuel is standing there! Merynis activates the Speed Amplifier! Merynis' transformation dissipates. Merynis' body begins to shake! She gets enveloped in a green light! When it dissipates, Revelian is standing there! Revelian: OH SHIT. Merynis charges forward! Jast takes 8938 damage! Merynis' transformation dissipates Revelian charges forward! Merynis takes 3648 damage! Merynis backs up! YOU WIN!! Merynis sits on her knees, panting. Revelian walks towards her. She suddenly raises her head up. Merynis: I... Have absolutely no intention on letting you kill me here... Heheh... Maybe next time, then...? She suddenly jumps forward, giving Revelian a quick kiss. She then leaps out of a window. She flies away using her wings. Revelian: Damned shape-shifter... Jast: At least we won. Let's find Zachary! Crone: But we can't just let her...! Revelian: Crone, if she does try anything major, we'll stop her. Don't worry. She's no major threat to us at the moment... She's just trying to mess with me. Trollus, on the other hand, is a VERY major threat. We've gotta stop him and save Zachary. Karelia: Yeah, come on! We've gotta save him! Revelian: Heh, you're really serious about this, aren't you? Karelia: Well, yeah! I can't just chase you all my life! Revelian: Good for you. They all run off in search of Zachary. Chapter 11 - Sad Clown After a bit of searching, they turn up no results... Karelia: Revelian, I'm worried... This ship is abandoned!! No trolls, no Trollus, no Zachary... Nothing...!! Where are they!? Revelian: I don't know, Karelia, just stay calm... We'll find a way out of this... Revelian's cell phone rings. Revelian: ? He picks it up. The caller-ID says it's Zachary. Revelian answers the phone. Revelian: Zachary? Trollus: No, THIS IS PATRICK!!! Trollus. Sorry to get your hopes up. I'm done with all this running away shit. Come and meet me at the abandoned circus. We'll face off fair and square. Winner takes all. See you there. Oh, and THE GAME. TROLOLO- He hangs up. Revelian: That was Trollus. He wants to face off "fair and square" at the abandoned circus. Jast: Oh boy... I have a feeling this is going to turn ugly. Revelian: This being a troll, I would be surprised if he was even there. Karelia: It doesn't matter!! We've gotta save him! Sauphara: Alright. But what about this gunship?? Revelian: I'll deal with that. Revelian walks into the cockpit and steers the ship downwards. Revelian: It's gonna crash. Care to teleport us out, mom? Sauphara: Fine. Wait, did you just call me mom?? Revelian: HELLO, FALLING?? Sauphara teleports them all out. They wind up back at Revelian's castle. Crone: Where is the abandoned circus? Is there even one? I've never heard of it. Trix: It was here a long time ago. However, the owner of the place went crazy and started killing people in secret. They eventually caught him, and they shut down the park. It's on that island above the main continent. Zachary has a teleporter there, so we'll just head over there. Revelian: Oh wait! I better go tell Umbra about what's happening. Jast: ...hrm... Revelian knocks on the door. Umbra: WHO COULD IT BE THIS TIME?! She stomps to the door and opens it. Umbra: WHAT IS IT NO- Her mouth drops when she sees that it's Revelian. Revelian: Good to see you? Umbra: R-Revelian..!! She grabs him and gets into a hug with him. Revelian: Umbra! Relax, I'm alright!! But listen, I- Umbra: No!! No, not another one!! Just come home, Revelian, please!! Crone: Umbra, relax! Revelian is perfectly alright! Don't you- Umbra: Shut up!! Can't any of you idiots think of anything besides yourselves for a minute?! Think about this!! Revelian is a father!! If he died, and there was no one to bring him back, what then?! Is it just another damned thing?? If he died, his daughter would have to grow up without a father!! Do you know what that would do to her!? And how do you think I would feel about it?! When he died, you know that it tore me up on the inside!! But do any of you even seem to CARE?!? NO!! You just want to parade about on these stupid, life threatening adventures!! Revelian, please, are you even LISTENING!? Revelian: Umbra... Umbra: Or are you just going about on your merry-fucking-way, leaving me here to sit and rot with my baby?! I can't just go with you all the time, Revelian!! I can't just leave my daughter to be taken care of by my friends!! I have to be here for her... And Revelian... so do you... Revelian: *Sigh*... Umbra, I'm sorry. I know you're right. I've been a terrible father and a terrible husband... I've constantly left you and our daughter behind to rot... Umbra, I promise you, after this... I'm hanging up the cape and the sword. Others: What?!? Revelian: Guys, she's right. I can't just go on like this anymore... After we take care of Trollus... I'm calling it quits. Jast: B-But Revelian, you're- Revelian: No, Jast. I can't do this anymore. I'm tearing me and Umbra's relationship apart... All because of these stupid adventures... So let's take care of Trollus and end this. Jast: ... Umbra: R-Revelian, I... Revelian: Umbra, I'm sorry, but I have to take care of this one thing. I promise you that I'll return. And then we can finally live together... Peacefully... Umbra starts to cry. Revelian: Let's go. Revelian and the other head off towards the abandoned carnival. They go into Zachary's castle, where they go through the teleporter thing and make haste to the carnival. They arrive, where absolutely nothing can be seen except old, rusty rides. Revelian: Hey, fuckface!! You here?! No response. Revelian: DAMNIT!! YOU TROLL!! Trollus appears, as if out of nowhere. Trollus: Of course I am! But I'm here, as promised. Karelia: Where's Zachary?! Trollus: I have him tied up in one of the tents. Shall we dance? Winner takes all! Revelian: Now, let's get this sh/t over with. Revelian charges towards Trollus! Trollus: HOLD ON NOW!! Revelian: What, you idiot?! Trollus: I said we would have a "fair fight." Now, you and your friends all against me isn't fair is it? Let me just get my "handicap." Trollus pulls out a remote, and pushes a large red button. A hole opens up in the ground, (like, a mechanical hatch thing) and Trollus lowers down on a platform. Revelian: The hell? The ground starts shaking violently as the ground near the opening falls away. The gang moves away from the shaking. Suddenly, a large metal crown starts coming out of the hole, but then stops moving. Revelian: ? Trollus: damnit... Some mechanical whirrs and buzzes are heard. Then, it starts moving again. What is visible before the gang is a colossal figure, rising out of the ground. The head is a giant Trollface. The arms on either side have a giant magnet, and the other a fist, which appears to have several attatchments. Trollus sits in the head. Trollus: How about now? You likey? Jast: You don't mean we're going to have to fight this, thing? Trollus: Oh, yes. I'm sure you'll enjoy some of the features. IT EVEN HAS CUPHOLDERS!! I call it the Troll-bot 9001! Let's get all this over with. I have places to go, people to troll. Now, shall we? The robot jerks around, then lunges forward towards the team! FINAL BOSS: TROLL-BOT 9001!!! (Theme) Revelian: You're not gonna be trolling ANYONE after we're done with you, Trollus! Trollus: Oh, whatever, and what are you gonna do when you "beat me"? Go back to screwing your deer waifu?? TROLOLOLOLO! Jast: *Snort* Revelian slaps Jast upside the head. Jast takes 201 damage! Jast attacks with TRANCE! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 1012 damage! Lazro activates the IRONGLOW KEY! It became an RPG! Lazro fires the RPG! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 2102 damage! Samuel charges up a mega slash! Crone flips through her spellbook, trying to find more spells! Karelia fires the bolt gun! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 1450 damage! Troll-Bot 9001 activates the MEGA TROLL MAGNET! Revelian flew towards the magnet! Revelian was stunned! Jast attacks with TRANCE! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 1302 damage! Lazro charges in with the Dual Sauphara Katanas! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 920 damage! Samuel unleashes the mega slash! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 1201 damage! Crone finds a spell! Karelia fires the bolt gun! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 1423 damage! Troll-Bot 9001 unleashed a wave of telekinetic energy! Crone made Trollus a sandwhich! Troll-Bot 9001 was recovered to max health!! Revelian: OH FUCKING COME ON. Crone: Is anyone else sick of this thing? Jast: YES. Crone: Alright then. Let's perform this new spell... Trollus: What?? What are you yammering on about, bitch? Crone's eyes glow a deep red. Suddenly, a massive pentagram appears in front of her! Revelian: ...Crone?? Have you been practicing some black magic? Crone: Eheh... a little... Suddenly, a massive fireball goes flying out of the pentagram! Troll-Bot 9001 takes 4493243 ( ) damage!! Troll-Bot 9001 was destroyed! YOU WIN!! Trollus: THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?! Crone: Who's the erm... bitch now? Revelian: NOW THEN. Revelian rushes over to Trollus, who fell out of the robot when it exploded. He grabs him by the neck. Revelian: U mad? Trollus just stars laughing. His laugh becomes absolutely maniacal.. Trollus: ME?? MAD!? PFTTAAHAHHAH!!! I'LL NEVER BE MAD AT YOU NOOBS!! PFTAAHAHAHAH!!! SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW, REVELIAN?? GONNA GO HOME AND FUCK YOUR DEER WIFE?!? PFTAAHAHHAHA!!! Revelian angrily slices his head off. It rolls away. The laugh soon dies down. Revelian: Mother fucker... Well, that's over. Let's find Zachary... They search around the tents, and surely enough, they find Zachary, tied up to a pole in one of the tents. Revelian cuts him free and helps him down. Zachary: Finally!! So, did you guys beat him?? Revelian: Yeah, we took- Karelia: Zoshi!!! She runs up to him and grapples him in a hug. She then gives him a deep kiss. Zachary: P-Karelia... we're in public... Karelia: Oops... Sorry... I'm just really happy to see you alright!! Revelian: Haha... Well, come on. This ain't over yet. You know what we gotta deal with next... Zachary: Oh lord. Chapter 12 - The Hardest Decision Of My Life To Make After the gang arrives back to the mainland, they immediately head to Revelian's castle. Revelian: *Sigh...* Here we go... Revelian opens the door. Umbra, who's inside the foyer, leaps up and runs to him. Umbra: Revelian!! You're back!! Revelian: Yes, Umbra... I'm back... It's over. Umbra: Revelian... I want to apologize. Revelian: What?? Umbra: I'm sorry for waving your kid in your face like that... I know that you have to go on these adventures from time to time... Not because you want to... But because you have to save your planet, and your friends. I was just blinded... blinded by... Well, I guess my own love for you... I'm sorry, Revelian, it's just that... Revelian: No, Umbra. Don't apologize to me... I've been thinking... Long and hard about this. And I've come to one decision. Umbra: What...? Revelian turns to the others, slowly and sadly. Revelian: I plan on leaving Ludus. With Umbra, and my child. Zachary: Jast: 'WHAT?!?!''' Samuel: WHAT Jast SAID!! Revelian, DON'T LEAVE!! Umbra: R-Revelian...!! When I said I wanted you to slow down on the adventures, I didn't mean flat out LEAVE!! Revelian, I'm sorry!! I don't want to leave this place! I haven't been happier in my life...!! Revelian: ...Do you really mean that?? Umbra: Every word of it, Revelian... I don't want to abandon my new friends just because I got a little bit tired of these constant adventures! Revelian, I'd rather go on a thousand more then leave this world behind! And I'm sorry for actually putting that thought into your head... Zachary: So you're NOT leaving?? Revelian: No. Zachary: ...WELL THAT WAS POINTLESS. Revelian: SO, YOU DO WANT ME TO LEAVE, HM?? Zachary: I WAS KIDDING!! PLEASE, NO. STAY. Revelian: Fine. Everyone laughs once. Meanwhile... Inside of the tent where Trollus was killed... A White Troll Alien walks towards Trollus' corpse. Trollus II: Dad? Daddy, are you alive?? No? TROLOLOLOLOLOLO!!!! Category:Stories Category:Alpha-Archaic Timeline